At 12 years old, Isla Buchanan's world changed forever.

When her mother suffered a debilitating stroke, overnight she became a carer for her young siblings, and it was no surprise when carrying the weight of the world eventually took its toll.

In Isla's own words, she broke down. Likening her thoughts to 'a black hole', there were times when she simply didn't want to keep going.

Football was the one constant. Her escape when she needed it. Coaching, playing, supporting and – eventually – refereeing.

Ten years on, Isla's well on the way to becoming a qualified mental health nurse and putting her own experiences to good use.

This is her story.

I still remember it all very clearly.

I was 12 years old. I got a text message from Dad that said I had to meet my brothers and sisters after school and head for my grandparents' house. We didn't think anything of it.

It wasn't until that became an overnight stay that we realised something was wrong.

Dad came to see us and explained that Mum had suffered a stroke, that she couldn't speak, had lost mobility and wasn't very well.

I sat there, looking at him, with a blank face. Two weeks later I got to see Mum. I squeezed Dad's hand, and it was like she wasn't there.  The words wouldn't come, though she tried her best to write things down and communicate that way. That was hard to watch.

At that moment I became a young carer. We all had to muck in while Dad worked. A typical 12-year-old probably isn't cooking, cleaning and ironing. Looking back, that was always going to catch up on me.

I was about to turn 13 and I just had a breakdown. One day I couldn't bring myself to go to school because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving Mum on her own at home and something else happening to her.

Dad took me to see the doctor and described everything on my behalf. I just sat there quietly until the tears came.

I didn't really understand what was going on until he said the words 'anxiety' and 'depression'.

The depression came from not having that typical life of a child. It was tough. I struggled going to school, I stopped eating, drinking, and sleeping. I couldn't face life.

At that age, you're going through enough at the best of times but those were dark, dark days and I did have suicidal thoughts. There was a couple of times when I wanted to act on them, but I had really good support around me.

I said it then and I'll say it now. Football saved my life. It's the reason I can sit here today and talk about my experiences.

Isla Buchanan

Football was my escape. I found myself going to my local club, Letham FC, every night of the week whether it was playing, coaching or taking my siblings along to their own sessions. I'd sit and watch them.

I'd do everything I could to force myself out of the house and I was lucky I had that one thing I was very passionate about to hold on to.

When I was about to turn 16, Grandad asked if I'd consider doing the local refereeing course. He refereed well into his 70s and was my inspiration.

I did that eight-week course, qualified and didn't think anything of it but – seven years on – I'm still doing it every weekend.

When I'm out on the pitch, for those 90 minutes there's nothing else in my head. I'm free and come off feeling refreshed and much more relaxed.

In December 2018, Paul McNeill from the Scottish FA reached out asking if I'd be up for doing a video in a series called 'Football Saved My Life' and I thought that if it helped one person watching then it would be worth it.

It wasn't easy. It was the first time I'd gone in-depth about my story and the feedback was incredible. Overwhelming, but in a good way.

Coming from a smaller city like Perth, I couldn't go to the supermarket without someone stopping me to talk about it or their own experiences. I got the same kind of support from local teams I'd referee. It was heart-warming.

When I was sent the video in advance, I was sitting on my own in the car, about to into a meeting and I cried watching it. I thought about my life and all that had changed.

Even that seems like a long time ago now. I'm the same girl but I'm in a new city, about to go into my third year studying mental health nursing – having previously maintained I'd never go to university.

I'm definitely on the right path. I come home from a day’s work, or from a placement, and know I've helped someone to feel that bit more comfortable about what they're facing.

It makes me smile but football's a great talking point. It's my go-to on the wards almost every time. People think it's interesting that I'm a young, female referee. We can talk about that, the team they support, about their own playing days.

Football brings people together. It gives them that sense of community.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days. I've learned a few coping mechanisms and different things work for different people.

Personally, I'll watch a game – whether it's a random one on TV or heading out for some fresh air to find a local fixture.

The one bit of advice I'd give to everyone is to talk. Talk to a GP, a friend, a family member, a stranger. There's always someone there to listen and anxiety or mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of.

I couldn't be prouder of who I am. When that original video came out, I didn’t think I'd have the opportunity to do my own TED Talk, to be part of the FC United campaign or to speak to kids at local schools.

That would have all seemed an impossibility in those darkest days and I think that's the point. You just have to stick in.

If you have been affected by any issues raised in this article, you can contact Breathing Space. Call free on 0800 83 85 87.

Be part of the game

Having worked her way through the ranks from that initial eight-week course, Isla is now a Category Five match official, with aspirations to go to the very top.

She is in no doubt that refereeing has played a part in helping her find fulfilment, on and off the pitch.

She said: "It's my way of getting away from what can be a chaotic life, between working and studying.

"After initially inspiring me to get involved in the first place, in those early days Grandad would come to every game and stand on the sidelines. He was my big support, pushing me on.

"He's even surprised me a couple of times since I moved to Edinburgh, turning up out of the blue at whatever game I've been assigned to. I'll forward him my reports and always appreciate his feedback.

"It's come full circle because my younger brother has just turned 16 and has qualified himself. It was my turn to go and watch his first game.

"I'd recommend it to anyone who loves the game. I've learned so many skills and had so many amazing experiences.

Isla Buchanan

"Ironically, it's some of the tougher times that benefit you. I'd be lying if I said I hadn’t had a couple of bad experiences.

"There was one occasion that was really bad in terms of sexist comments, with remarks telling me I should be back in the kitchen. Mentally, that was a real challenge to overcome.

"I remember getting through it, heading back to the car and bursting into floods of tears. I couldn't get my head around being told I shouldn’t be involved in the sport I've always loved.

"Now? I look back and appreciate the lessons I've learned about being thick-skinned and that you can't let other people bring you down. I pulled myself together, refereed my next game and never looked back."

Click here if you're interested in following in Isla's footsteps and becoming a referee.

Power of football

Football has the power to do so much good by enriching and improving life in Scotland every day. It brings communities closer together, it builds relationships that will last a forever and it is a lifeline for so many who need it.

We want to help tell unique stories from every corner of the Scottish game. Is someone in your community making a difference through football? A character who's the heart and soul of your club? An individual in need of a pick-me-up? Let us know via story@scottishfa.co.uk.

Click here to learn more about the power of football in Scotland.